Imagine All The People, Living In A World...

Extreme poverty. Poor education. Children growing up in pain with domestic violence and abuse. Drugs. Alcoholism. All the horrors of a world unbalanced.

All that exists right here in Costa Rica, too, and yet, I’ve never heard of a mass murder. And that goes for many other countries. So why is it so commonplace in the States? Do we just accept it as part of our world?

Every time I hear of insane events like the one that happened in Connecticut yesterday, I'm truly dumbfounded. Call me naive, but I simply just don’t get why people hurt each other. When I started delving for answers in college, I learned that rapists are mostly about sick power and control. I learned that serial killers get the psychological thrill of cat and mouse power, and most especially, the reward of notoriety. They want to live to see the whole world looking at them. But mass murderers in the workplace? What’s behind their actions? What do they get out of taking innocent people’s lives before their own?

For this, I Googled “profile of a mass murderer”. On deathreference. com they generally described it like this:
Although many people experience job loss without becoming mass murders, they (sic) have frequently experienced chronic or social isolation. The only factor in their lives that is meaningful to them is their job or career... Typically many years of frustration have occurred before this fatal event... They are incapable of coping with their problems in adaptive ways by changing their behavior...

An inability to cope in adaptive ways by changing one’s behavior. Years of frustration, meaning those around them could probably see it, or at least something, coming. I’d say that’s the key to all criminals.  When I was teaching, I could see that potential in the few profoundly behaviorally disordered children I encountered. Not even the minefield of ever-stretched and dysfunctional social services could help. A futile battle. All I could do was pray that I wouldn't be reading about them in the paper. Multiply that by a whole country.

So, how do we prevent any child from growing up to be a murderer? Here are my "what-if’s" for the day:

What if the country made a pact to glamorize do-gooders? Make real-life, authentic goodness cool?


What if we made a pact not to subject our children and ourselves of the daily onslaught of sex, violence, and stupidity every day? Media jams it down our throats and says that’s what the public wants. Is it really? What if we railed against it and let them know that it isn’t? What if we just turned them off?


What if we all took some social responsibility to nurture all children into a secure and nurturing world? What if our government actually threw some money at that for a change?

Our country used to pride itself on pride. Now we seem to pride ourselves on not having any. Rights without responsibility. Bad guys win, victims are schmucks. A government no longer for the people.  Is our empire falling?

And yet, the fact remains, we still have hope. We voraciously eat up good news stories - especially of every day heroes like the Captain Sully’s of the world. So why don’t we demand more? Why don’t we put money and media into investing in goodness for a change? Let's make it cool - on Facebook, Twitter and everywhere else. I just might want to return to my country again.

Okay, enough of my railing.  What do YOU think?

Out of Character

Does character matter anymore?

Okay, so I guess I've turned into the little old lady lamenting the loss of those perfectly imperfect, downright wholesome, good old days. The days when people actually cared about things like honor, integrity, and respect. But wait. Are they really gone?

Let's say leaders like John Adams, Abe Lincoln, and Eleanor Roosevelt came back to visit. They turn on one of those mesmerizing boxes called a television. That ubiquitous thing that supposedly reflects modern society. What kind of impression would they get about who - or what - we've evolved into?

One good thing about living in a place where nature is a show itself, is that I don't bother watching that box much anymore. But not so long ago, it was my escape. At the end of the day, I loved not having to think. But then I realized it did make me think - about thousands more things - and many, if not most, of those thoughts weren't positive. It was like subjecting myself to an onslaught of neuroticism, ignorance, violence, anger, and downright stupidity. Almost everything had an "edge" to it. I felt overwhelmed. I came to resent feeling so manipulated by the images, content and ads. I wanted out, and I got it.

So then I turned to real life. I looked around at my family, my friends, and the vast majority of people I encounter. They aren't edgy or jaded or ignorant. They all live every day lives with integrity, strength and love. Are there issues? For sure. But not to the extent that TV is anywhere near an accurate depiction of our lives. Not a chance.

I find that most people choose goodness. I wonder if John, Abe and Eleanor would find that too. I bet they would.

Do you? How close does the media generally depict your life and those around you?
And does character matter anymore, or have we chosen to turn away from it?