You Can Run But You Cannot Hide

It  took about two years for the novelty to wear off. I wake up every morning to heaven, and still I managed to find a reason to be unsatisfied. 

It’s not that I don’t appreciate sitting out on the terrace with coffee in hand, watching the surf roar and pour itself gently onto the beach below. Sit mesmerized by the daily wave of raucous parrots screeching excitedly overhead on their way north, knowing they’d be back in late afternoon heading south again to who-knows-where they sleep. Reveling in the thousand green depths of the jungle carpet leading up the soft angular mountain peaks that envelop the house. And once in awhile, being treated to the howler monkeys barking in the distance to announce the day. Not too shabby.

All this, and not having to be anywhere. No morning pressure of having to get going to work. No Sunday blues about the upcoming week. Just sitting, watching the world awaken.

Most people would call this a vacation - even paradise - and I did.  But suddenly it wasn’t enough.  I needed goals. I needed purpose. I needed accomplishment. Most would say I needed a lobotomy. 

For the most part, the ex-pat community here consists of mostly of people in their 50’s and 60’s who have chucked it all for a simpler life. Many had really intense professions in their countries. Did they adjust better than I?

Truth be told, we all fit into one of three categories. There are the Putzers, those who’ve adapted just fine by doing nothing much, day in and day out. The read, they putz, they go online. They have no need or desire to accomplish anything more than that.

Then there are the Gotta-Doers. They need to be busy, maybe make an income, but not necessarily be too busy. Some have found hobbies, others small side jobs. And some like me, are trying to figure how to do both simultaneously.

And finally, of course, there are the Crunchers. No matter what, they cannot stay still. Even here, they don’t know what to do with themselves if they’re not going full tilt. Most of them have built businesses or careers down here. Yikes.

Personally, I’d like to be a Putzer, but I guess I just don’t have it in me. Which one would you rather be, or are you?

The Waiting Place

Ah, so that's where I've been! What a perfect way for "Dr. Seuss" to have described it. Not a Slump, Lurch, or Bang-up. But this Waiting Place? It's definitely a Hang-up. At least it has one perk, though - hope. You WILL get unstuck. The universe WILL point you in the right direction. You WILL go forward. In time. The "just-right" time.

Patience is the key to the Waiting Place, and I'll admit, it's something I've got a limited supply of. There's a point at which I start chomping at the bit, trying to force all kinds of possible solutions to make that Great Change come. I get desperate for some equilibrium - antsy to know exactly where I'm going next. To be on my way.

As you might know, I've been away from the blog this past week. One reason is because our social calendar's been chock full. The other reason, though, is because we've finally hit on getting unstuck and out of the Waiting Place. The universe is talking to us. We just may be off to Great Places! We must get on our way!

It's been a long journey - probably about 10 months or so. After listing our priorities: greater financial security, cooler climate, freedom to travel, we went online. Constantly. Where do we want to live next? Finally, all research pointed to Ecuador. Then we made a plan. We'll rent this place, go down, check it out, and rent there for awhile. Enjoy the culture, the climate, the beauty. If it works, settle in. But this time, no house-buying commitment. Move on when we come to the next Waiting Place. Because yes, eventually, there will be a next one.

But why not go back to the States? Because still, all we can think of is, Oh, The Places You'll Go! We have our health, relative youth, and no kids. It's now or never. Will we go ever go back? Most likely, Indeed! It's 98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed. At the next "just-right" time.

Is the Waiting Place an issue for you? Maybe it's just me, with this innate need to jump-start my life every so often. Or maybe you're more apt to have other kinds of Hang-ups and Bang-ups. Tell us about it, or, about the Great Places YOU Go. Today is your day!

Be Careful What You Wish For

Not so long ago I sat at my desk every morning, reeling from the myriad list of To-Do's ~ RIGHT NOW! sitting before me. I had a routine. First I'd prioritize them in order, and then I'd optimistically coach myself. Today's the day. You're going to get every one of these accomplished. Check, check, check... I'd imagine.

Then the first polite tap on would come. "You got a minute?" the visitor would ask. Of course I did. I wanted teachers, parents, kids - whomever - to feel they could come to me for any thing at any time. Accessible, fair, making things better - that's what I wanted to stand for. So we'd sit, we'd chat, and inevitably by the end, yet another task would be added to the list.

There'd be at least a dozen or more of those "got a minute?" moments throughout the day - in the halls, while visiting classrooms, prepping for meetings. I was stressed, and sometimes overwhelmed. I prayed for the day to just not have to think anymore.

That glorious day finally came. The first two years were miraculous. Healing, actually. I got to simply listen and watch life going on around me. The birds, the monkeys, the surf. The peace.

Then like a stew slowly bubbling up to a full boil, the old me began to return. Little pangs of boredom taunted me. Oh for God's sake, will you ever be happy? I thought. I tried to push them back down, beat them into submission. But there it was. I'm a thinker, a do-er, an accomplish-er at heart. And damned if I'll ever be able to forget it.

A laid-back life may be nice, I'm learning, but too laid-back can be just as unhealthy. As friends pointed out today, not having enough to keep my mind busy could also be contributing to this brain fog I've got going. I used to hold thousands of details in my head (or at least write them down). Now few demands are placed on it. So between menopause and retire-pause, I guess it's time find a happy medium before I'm truly mush.

How about you? Too stressed? Too relaxed?
Where does your life fall on the continuum right now?
And what is best for YOU?