Life Without Kids

"Do you have any kids?"


A natural question, and one that stumps me every time. I see what? in the inquirers' eyes - pity? disbelief? My knee-jerk reaction is always to ease their angst, to console them. I feel defensive all of a sudden, and I'm not sure why.  No, I'm not infertile (at least to my knowledge!) No, I don't dislike children - just the opposite is true. I was simply married to an older man who'd been there, done that. It just wasn't my path to take. 


Talk about being in the minority, though. Motherhood is something very special - who wouldn't want to be a member of that club? The funny thing is, it never bothered me to be different.  I've been pretty content with the life I've led. It's only that deer-in-the-headlights feeling I get during those few moments of questioning. And it's even worse here in Costa Rica. The latin culture absolutely glorifies motherhood - you are nothing if not a mother. No matter how young you are, nor how poor. It's what makes you a woman. Even our gardener probed about my physical ability to be one. Yikes - talk about getting personal!


Neither Jeff nor I had kids in our "former lives". We laugh, saying that had we met way earlier, we'd probably have had a brood and would never have been able to pack up to come live in our little paradise. We're pretty okay with how that worked out.  No matter what, every road taken has patches both smooth and rough.


Are you a mom? If so, I'd love to know what you think and feel when you encounter someone who isn't. 

And if you don't have kids, what's been your experience with this thing called childlessness?

*Sage Spark* OUR ROADS NOT TAKEN ~ YET

You've come this far. You've made the usual decisions along the way about school, career, love, marriage, family, and maybe even retirement. By this time, most of us have "been there, done that." So where does that leave us? Who are we now, and what new paths might we decide to take?

In my mind, I've still got at least another 25-30 years to continue to create myself. And that's good news, because I've been struggling with the question:

Who do you become when you're not someone anymore?

I've almost always had a role - a definition. When people asked I could say, "I'm a teacher", or later, "I'm a principal." But now when they ask, I don't have an answer. Early retirement has definitely had its benefits, but after some time off, I need to get going again. And it's not just about being able to define myself at a cocktail party. I'm one of those nuts who always needs to have goals. I need to keep reaching.

Think about it. We've still got a significant future laid out before us. I don't know about you, but I'm definitely not ready to sail into the sunset yet. There are too many new things to do, places to see, people to know. This blogging venture is my kick off to trying out life as a writer. I feel like a kid - all fumbling and lacking in experience and confidence. But it's my road less traveled right now, and I'm determined to go down it.

At this point in your life, who are you? Would you want to be or do anything else? Do you have new passions to follow, new purposes ahead in the back of your mind?

Tell us about your roads not taken ~ yet.