"Do you have any kids?"
A natural question, and one that stumps me every time. I see what? in the inquirers' eyes - pity? disbelief? My knee-jerk reaction is always to ease their angst, to console them. I feel defensive all of a sudden, and I'm not sure why. No, I'm not infertile (at least to my knowledge!) No, I don't dislike children - just the opposite is true. I was simply married to an older man who'd been there, done that. It just wasn't my path to take.
Talk about being in the minority, though. Motherhood is something very special - who wouldn't want to be a member of that club? The funny thing is, it never bothered me to be different. I've been pretty content with the life I've led. It's only that deer-in-the-headlights feeling I get during those few moments of questioning. And it's even worse here in Costa Rica. The latin culture absolutely glorifies motherhood - you are nothing if not a mother. No matter how young you are, nor how poor. It's what makes you a woman. Even our gardener probed about my physical ability to be one. Yikes - talk about getting personal!
Neither Jeff nor I had kids in our "former lives". We laugh, saying that had we met way earlier, we'd probably have had a brood and would never have been able to pack up to come live in our little paradise. We're pretty okay with how that worked out. No matter what, every road taken has patches both smooth and rough.
Are you a mom? If so, I'd love to know what you think and feel when you encounter someone who isn't.
And if you don't have kids, what's been your experience with this thing called childlessness?
Monday, May 10, 2010
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
About Me
- Trish
- Costa Rica
- 50's and Fabulous - that's the way it's supposed to be, right? I have to admit, being here is not such a bad deal. A few years ago we sold the farm (literally) and moved to the jungle. Who knew that I'd be spending life with monkeys, scarlet macaws and sloths? It's actually pretty awesome, though I have learned that no Paradise is perfect. I'll tell you more about that sometime... But for now, come share all the savvy and sparkle we've grown into over the years. Speak your heart, tell your stories. Here's to us ~ Cheers!
Aren't people just too nosey sometimes. I admit to wondering about childless couples at times.. and envying them at times too. And, basically, it's none of my business.
ReplyDeleteI don't think it's a necessity to have children. It is a choice. I love being a mother, I loved staying at home with them and I'm thrilled that, for the most part, they're grown up and gone (youngest son is temporarily home again). And,
I've met a couple of women who I suspect had children because it was 'expected' and they're miserable.. one did an awful job! She hated it, wasn't cut out for it.. and I felt sorry for her.