Are You Money Wise?

The root of all evil - what's your take on it?

They say you learn your attitudes toward money from your parents. Well, that sure explains it. My father was a depression-era, work hard and you'll earn a decent living kind of guy. He never took risks, neither in business nor investments. He saved relatively little and basically lived for the day. Pretty interesting for a public accountant with six kids, ha?.

My mother, on the other hand, was the traditional good wife. She never held money in her pocket of her own; never learned how to use a checkbook. My father made all the big money decisions. She was (supposedly) happy to be taken care of.

So where does that put me? I'm my father all the way. I've earned a nice middle, sometimes upper-middle kind of life, but always way too short a distance from getting over my head. I invest little and conservatively, and have no business sense whatsoever.

So what's the deal? When I really get down to it, it's all about fear. Stocks, bonds, investments, business, sales, marketing - they all intimidate the hell out of me. And guess what? I've finally come to the point where that very fact ticks me off.

I know I need to open my mind - loosen up and see the benefits of being money wise. Cultivate a business attitude. I've been dealing in human services for so long - getting a secure paycheck and health coverage - but now I don't have that security anymore. What if I want to start a new career? Make some money for the long future ahead? At this rate, I wouldn't know where to begin. But one thing's for sure - I know it has to start in my head.

And what about you? Are you money wise? Do you have any advice to foster a new attitude? Help!

GIRLS, GIRLS & MATTERS OF THE HEART

There's a story brewing in me -one I dream of turning into a book someday. Here I am, a woman who (oh, so gratefully!) found true love the second time around. But what was it that made me "settle" in my first marriage? What attitudes did I have about myself and my relationships with men that led to committing a lifetime to someone so entirely wrong for me? And, am I the only one?

Seeing through the magically wise lens of time and distance, I can see where I went wrong. And then I look at the girls of today and wonder. Will they have more awareness and insight when choosing their husbands?

Young women seem to be so savvy, confident, empowered. And yet, disturbing trends show how easily some are giving themselves up to be loved. Like providing sexual favors and of course, getting little in return (think: way younger, way intimate). You also hear more about sexual and emotional abuse in dating. And just this week I heard about a new thing. Boys are calling their (supposed) girlfriends, "my body" - as in, "She's my BODY." Excuse me? And then young teen girls are getting plastic surgery to be more "perfect". This is progress?

Granted, I could have this all wrong. My nieces visited this past 2 weeks (hence the spotty delivery of blogs - so sorry)! It was a perfect opportunity to get to know how 20-something's feel about love and relationships. Were they willing to compromise themselves to be loved?

Not a chance. Mind you, these are two bright, worldly, gorgeous girls who work in TV production in L.A. and have lived in New York City. Their experiences are a lot different than mine ever were - and possibly even those of their peers. But that's the idea.

So, are relationships between young women and men different now than when you were there? I'd really like to explore the concept, and welcome your wisdom on the subject. With the girls, I started out by asking them to complete the following sentences:

When I was a teen, I thought boys were...
Now in my 20's, I think men are...

How would YOU have answered those questions then? And just for fun, let's add one more for you to weigh in on:
Now, later in life, I think men...


There'll be more questions and more answers to come. If you have daughters, granddaughters, or nieces, ask them to join in, too. This could get interesting!