Best girlfriends - nothing rivals that bond. It’s strong and loving and powerful. And no surprise here, it’s even healthy for you.With a best girlfriend, everything’s up front and on the table. Nothing is hidden. You get to trade insecurities, fears, information, joys, and secrets with complete and unabandoned truthfulness. Trust is never a question, vulnerability not a blip on the radar. Always, you have each other’s back.
And then there’s the joyful part. I don’t care how old you are - laughing with a girlfriend is the best and most freeing experience ever. One minute you’re giggling like little girls, and the next you can be as deliciously outrageous and bawdy as teens. Totally soul-filling.
Sadly, though, we’re also known to for relationships akin to walking through mine fields. For as much as we have this incredible capacity to love so fully, we also have the potential for unmatched hatefulness.
As a kid, many of my own “friendships” were mired in petty squabbles and sometimes, downright cruelty. Even then I never understood it. What was behind the need for all the hurtfulness and backstabbing? Envy? Insecurity? Jealousy? Defensiveness? Probably all of the above. It wasn’t long before I learned to seek out and nurture those few friendships I expected to be true.
It makes me wonder. Are all girls wired with this way? Is there some innate, primal need to compete with each other? Recently I witnessed a situation in which fully grown women engaged in ridiculously vicious behavior toward one another. It totally threw me. We’re beyond 50 years old, for God’s sake! What a sad waste of time and emotions.
I also wonder if it’s even worse for today’s young girls. Online social networks are increasingly used as weapons in girl-to-girl psychological warfare. There’s also apparently a trend toward greater physical aggression on girls’ parts, too. Okay, so we have the capacity to eat each other alive. But why would we want to?
Girl Power. We’re thinkers, feelers, nurturers, doers. We live at a time and place in which most of us can create whatever world we choose. So why wouldn’t we choose to enrich our lives by weaving colorful, deep tapestries of friendship? That one will always be a mystery to me.
What are your friendships like? What’s the best of the best of them? Sure hope you’ll share.
Photo by Gwen's GwennyPics at Flickr.com
I agree that true friendships are a gift to be cherished. I've been luck to hold on to most of the friends who have really mattered and the few that I've lost in transitions haunt me.
ReplyDeleteThe other thing that I've found since moving to Costa Rica is that it is never too late to make really solid, best friend, love, laugh, cry friendships. Thankfully I haven't outgrown the trust and need for real quality women in my life.
It is hard to see insecurities come out in the form of hurting others and damaging the people who really matter. I'm afraid that some people don't or can't outgrow their bad patterns.
Salud to the women I love!
Here, Here! I love how you expressed the loss of friendships that "haunt" you. I feel that as well about some very beautiful people who've touched my life along the way. I can only hope they know how much they meant to me. Thanks for the gentle reminder of them.
ReplyDeleteThe depth of friendship between women is definitely like no other. Quality vs. quantity is what I've always sought - I'm not good with acquaintances with whom I don't feel a deep connection. I guess I'm kind of a snob in that way. But that's okay. I, too, have definitely been blessed with some pretty incredible true friendships. As you say, Salud!