There's a story brewing in me -one I dream of turning into a book someday. Here I am, a woman who (oh, so gratefully!) found true love the second time around. But what was it that made me "settle" in my first marriage? What attitudes did I have about myself and my relationships with men that led to committing a lifetime to someone so entirely wrong for me? And, am I the only one?
Seeing through the magically wise lens of time and distance, I can see where I went wrong. And then I look at the girls of today and wonder. Will they have more awareness and insight when choosing their husbands?
Young women seem to be so savvy, confident, empowered. And yet, disturbing trends show how easily some are giving themselves up to be loved. Like providing sexual favors and of course, getting little in return (think: way younger, way intimate). You also hear more about sexual and emotional abuse in dating. And just this week I heard about a new thing. Boys are calling their (supposed) girlfriends, "my body" - as in, "She's my BODY." Excuse me? And then young teen girls are getting plastic surgery to be more "perfect". This is progress?
Granted, I could have this all wrong. My nieces visited this past 2 weeks (hence the spotty delivery of blogs - so sorry)! It was a perfect opportunity to get to know how 20-something's feel about love and relationships. Were they willing to compromise themselves to be loved?
Not a chance. Mind you, these are two bright, worldly, gorgeous girls who work in TV production in L.A. and have lived in New York City. Their experiences are a lot different than mine ever were - and possibly even those of their peers. But that's the idea.
So, are relationships between young women and men different now than when you were there? I'd really like to explore the concept, and welcome your wisdom on the subject. With the girls, I started out by asking them to complete the following sentences:
When I was a teen, I thought boys were...
Now in my 20's, I think men are...
How would YOU have answered those questions then? And just for fun, let's add one more for you to weigh in on:
Now, later in life, I think men...
There'll be more questions and more answers to come. If you have daughters, granddaughters, or nieces, ask them to join in, too. This could get interesting!
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
ALMOST PARADISE
The simple life in Costa Rica. Watching the jewel-blue Pacific roll onto Turtle Beach and wash through its natural caves. A thousand shades of green carpet the rainforest ridge around us. Emerald parrots, rainbow-colored macaws, scampering monkeys - they all still thrill me. Ah, but there are glitches...
ANTS IN THE MOZZARELLA
There I was, stirring the pot of curds, oh-so-proud of myself for actually making something "homegrown". An ant caught my eye, balancing tenuously off the shelf above the stove, threatening to drop in. Another came racing behind. Then another. I dared to look up. The entire wall was covered with a disgusting swarm, crawling in a massive, organized mass. Stay calm, I told myself. Army ants are natural house cleaners. Just step back and let them go. Ten minutes later I had a clean house. Don't even ask about the mozzarella.
V.L.I.'s, or VERY LARGE INSECTS
Here in so-called paradise, you really do get used to living with insects. I actually even enjoy them now. They're amazing - exquisite in color, intricacy, and camouflage. The morpho butterfly flashes a luminous neon blue with each graceful loft of its wings - as if it has its own light. The stick bug is so cool - easily mistaken for a tiny branch. Others, however, terrify. "Pica-caballo" spiders are so named for their ability to take down a horse with a single bite. Thankfully, they - like scorpions and snakes - are rare visitors. Besides, I can run faster.
GEKKO POOP
You know those cute little gekkos you see in the car insurance ads? Well, they are pretty adorable. Except for the fact that they party all night and poop all over. So what if they have a cute little trill and are fun to watch chasing each other around the walls looking for love? By morning, your house is dotted with tiny little turds. Every day. It ain't easy.
OF DUST AND MEN
There are two seasons in this paradise - Dust and Deluge. Both are really quite beautiful, though they take getting used to. Our second "car" is a 4-wheel ATV. In the dry season you get to eat everybody's dust, and in the rainy season, you get pelted. Whatever the season, though, it's dang hot. What the hell was I thinking? I moved to a tropical just in time for menopause and hot flashes. Well, duh!
A SIMPLER LIFE? HA!
Remember that simpler life I mentioned? Well, for the most part it's true. But basic things like plumbing? The ancient Romans had it all over this so-called modern culture. And electricity? We swear there's an evil little man pulling the lever for all these blackouts. Banking and shopping? Three times is the charm for getting anything accomplished. Patience. I'm definitely cultivating patience.
ASI ES LA VIDA
Such is the life in paradise. Not perfect, but it's still "Home Sweet Home" to me.
ANTS IN THE MOZZARELLA
There I was, stirring the pot of curds, oh-so-proud of myself for actually making something "homegrown". An ant caught my eye, balancing tenuously off the shelf above the stove, threatening to drop in. Another came racing behind. Then another. I dared to look up. The entire wall was covered with a disgusting swarm, crawling in a massive, organized mass. Stay calm, I told myself. Army ants are natural house cleaners. Just step back and let them go. Ten minutes later I had a clean house. Don't even ask about the mozzarella.
V.L.I.'s, or VERY LARGE INSECTS
Here in so-called paradise, you really do get used to living with insects. I actually even enjoy them now. They're amazing - exquisite in color, intricacy, and camouflage. The morpho butterfly flashes a luminous neon blue with each graceful loft of its wings - as if it has its own light. The stick bug is so cool - easily mistaken for a tiny branch. Others, however, terrify. "Pica-caballo" spiders are so named for their ability to take down a horse with a single bite. Thankfully, they - like scorpions and snakes - are rare visitors. Besides, I can run faster.
GEKKO POOP
You know those cute little gekkos you see in the car insurance ads? Well, they are pretty adorable. Except for the fact that they party all night and poop all over. So what if they have a cute little trill and are fun to watch chasing each other around the walls looking for love? By morning, your house is dotted with tiny little turds. Every day. It ain't easy.
OF DUST AND MEN
There are two seasons in this paradise - Dust and Deluge. Both are really quite beautiful, though they take getting used to. Our second "car" is a 4-wheel ATV. In the dry season you get to eat everybody's dust, and in the rainy season, you get pelted. Whatever the season, though, it's dang hot. What the hell was I thinking? I moved to a tropical just in time for menopause and hot flashes. Well, duh!
A SIMPLER LIFE? HA!
Remember that simpler life I mentioned? Well, for the most part it's true. But basic things like plumbing? The ancient Romans had it all over this so-called modern culture. And electricity? We swear there's an evil little man pulling the lever for all these blackouts. Banking and shopping? Three times is the charm for getting anything accomplished. Patience. I'm definitely cultivating patience.
ASI ES LA VIDA
Such is the life in paradise. Not perfect, but it's still "Home Sweet Home" to me.
Thursday, May 20, 2010
WHAT'S YOUR PARADISE?
Obligations. Stressors. The monotony of daily routines. At some point or another, most of us dream of running away to some place far, far away from it all. A beautiful place. A peaceful place. A place where no one - and no thing - can make demands of us.
Jeff and I did that three years ago. The intensity of our jobs, and the fast-paced life of the States, had finally pushed us to the limit. We were still young, healthy and fueled by our new love. We were blessed with a second chance in life by meeting each other, and planned to savor all it has to offer while we had it.
So, where to? We'd thought of Mexico and Guatemala, but they were too unstable for our tastes. What about Costa Rica, we thought. Why not? It's known as a fantastic retirement destination. A lush paradise, still relatively undeveloped, with a stable government, no military and low taxes. In fact, it's so peaceful that the national saying is "Pura Vida" - Pure Life. Even life spans are longer here.
It all sounds just about perfect, doesn't it? Well, in the next few blogs I'll explore this paradise - from the great to the not-so-great. No, it's not perfect, sorry to say. But it definitely has been a path worth taking for us. Stick with me and I'll tell you all about it.
But first, what would your paradise be like? What are the qualities of life and living that you yearn for? Would you stay right where you are or go someplace else? Tell us all about it. Paint us a picture!
Jeff and I did that three years ago. The intensity of our jobs, and the fast-paced life of the States, had finally pushed us to the limit. We were still young, healthy and fueled by our new love. We were blessed with a second chance in life by meeting each other, and planned to savor all it has to offer while we had it.
So, where to? We'd thought of Mexico and Guatemala, but they were too unstable for our tastes. What about Costa Rica, we thought. Why not? It's known as a fantastic retirement destination. A lush paradise, still relatively undeveloped, with a stable government, no military and low taxes. In fact, it's so peaceful that the national saying is "Pura Vida" - Pure Life. Even life spans are longer here.
It all sounds just about perfect, doesn't it? Well, in the next few blogs I'll explore this paradise - from the great to the not-so-great. No, it's not perfect, sorry to say. But it definitely has been a path worth taking for us. Stick with me and I'll tell you all about it.
But first, what would your paradise be like? What are the qualities of life and living that you yearn for? Would you stay right where you are or go someplace else? Tell us all about it. Paint us a picture!
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About Me
- Trish
- Costa Rica
- 50's and Fabulous - that's the way it's supposed to be, right? I have to admit, being here is not such a bad deal. A few years ago we sold the farm (literally) and moved to the jungle. Who knew that I'd be spending life with monkeys, scarlet macaws and sloths? It's actually pretty awesome, though I have learned that no Paradise is perfect. I'll tell you more about that sometime... But for now, come share all the savvy and sparkle we've grown into over the years. Speak your heart, tell your stories. Here's to us ~ Cheers!